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Journal. Of doom. Part II [entries|friends|calendar]
jess

[ website | No HEED! ]
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[30 Mar 2009|06:33pm]
the boyfriend turned out to be a crazy stalker

i'm back to being normal jess again

rah rah
you're hogging all the ugly

[14 Feb 2009|07:19pm]
My boyfriend had 18 roses delivered to me in bed this morning.

Then I got to work and there were 18 more.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm becoming that girl.

But I don't really care this time.
1 you're hogging all the uglyamish shoved | you're hogging all the ugly

[01 Dec 2008|03:21pm]
Gotta say...


I thought Twilight rocked. Yeah, it's kind of weird to hear someone say the dialogue out loud (it makes you realize it was ten times cornier than what you thought when you were reading it)... and yet... Robert/Edward... in those 80's shades.

Holy SHIT.

Just thinking about him gives me hot flashes.

Ain't nothing wrong with that boy.
you're hogging all the ugly

[20 Nov 2008|01:23pm]
Heheh, Gillian Welch lyrics always sound more meaningful with little help from a bottle of wine.

HOOWAH!

Chapel Hill is fun, or I should say, so far so good...
you're hogging all the ugly

[17 Nov 2008|05:26am]
The slightest silver needle
Should never come between
When lovers stand
As parting friends
Gonna put myself
On a Leaving Train
And I won't go back
Again
you're hogging all the ugly

[06 Nov 2008|07:54pm]
Congrats Obama kids, happy times are here again!
you're hogging all the ugly

[29 Oct 2008|04:43pm]
I see this sword in front of me and pick it up, realizing I must be the chosen one.

But it is too heavy, so I realize I need to slide my finger across it and give it blood.

Suddenly there's this man in front of the sword who falls on top of me, screaming "I'm alive!" And I point my sword to the heavens!

Then he gets up and tells me he has to go to the bathroom, he'll be right back.


Good morning!
you're hogging all the ugly

[23 Oct 2008|07:25pm]
I got back in to Carolina.

I got my old job back.

I'm moving back to Chapel Hill.

I'm on medication.

SMILES!
1 you're hogging all the uglyamish shoved | you're hogging all the ugly

[02 Oct 2008|01:45pm]
needforreed114: I've been alright, looking forward to the VP debates tonight
Jessc0 White: ooooh yes
needforreed114: *puts on blinders* GOOO PALIN haha
Jessc0 White: i'll be at a bar while i watch them, i find that will help
Jessc0 White: hahah
Jessc0 White: if she's half as fabulous as her katie couric interview, she's a dead ringer
needforreed114: i've read about various drinking games tailored to the debates
needforreed114: she mentions joe six pack
needforreed114: drink!
Jessc0 White: every time palin doesn't answer a specific question specifically take a shot!
needforreed114: if she brings up alaska, add ice to your drink
Jessc0 White: if she mentions a moose, shoot the person next to you!
you're hogging all the ugly

[30 Sep 2008|07:10am]
So I'm being put in an American concentration camp by these creepy people, but the woman assures me she'll look after my cat. They take us to this area and draw blood from a vein in our feet. Then they're about to ship us off and I look at the woman and start calling her a heartless bitch (even though she'll feed my cat while I'm gone) and then suddenly we are all covered in ants, but I don't care at this point because I'm fighting injustice.

I woke up and my stomach felt like it had been stabbed.

YEY!
you're hogging all the ugly

[27 Sep 2008|04:55pm]


R.I.P.
1 you're hogging all the uglyamish shoved | you're hogging all the ugly

Hotlanta... [22 Sep 2008|07:43am]


Two doubles, one triple, all pretty.



I just thought that this was funny. How many baseball players are made to pose for puppy calenders?

I love these boys.

Atlanta was super sweet. I owned some pool games, we played in fountains, my Braves won twice and Francoeur redeemed himself. (I knew he would). We accidentally slept through the world of Coca Cola... but we drank lots of Fanta and Coke at other places. Budweisers at the game were $6.50!!! And food was pretty high everywhere. Either way, I had a blast, but I'm glad to be back to affordable Greensboro.

I'm content to let it get cold now and start putting on my winter pounds. Cigarettes and pot pie, here I come!
you're hogging all the ugly

[18 Sep 2008|01:55pm]
Xanax is your FRIEND!
2 you're hogging all the uglyamish shoved | you're hogging all the ugly

[16 Sep 2008|01:06pm]
why is Greensboro the rain capital right now?

i'll never play tennis again.

boooooo
you're hogging all the ugly

[13 Sep 2008|05:26pm]
Oh man I'm so glad someone told me that if I stop drinking I could fix all my problems!

Wow... why didn't I think of that?

Anonymous posts are for carpet baggers.
you're hogging all the ugly

[12 Sep 2008|08:35am]
Almost 9 am....
7 hours to go...

I need a new job.
2 you're hogging all the uglyamish shoved | you're hogging all the ugly

Why do I have to continue seeing these shows on television? [04 Sep 2008|05:11pm]
Ok after some serious thought (and too many nights stuck in my house) I have decided that these are the worst current popular shows on television.

#1 SUNSET TAN
Talk about the lamest reason to make a television show ever. AND these people actually think that because they're giving people tans they make them more active and create in people a reason to eat healthy. They also think they're rock stars.

I did think it was funny in one episode how Ania didn't know what the word bigot was.

JESUS!

Erin is the only sort of laid back character besides the owner who doesn't look like he's 60, but Erin's not pretty so maybe that's why.

AND THE OLLY GIRLS! Jesus Christ! Are you serious? I just want to beat them down, but as Joel McHale said, they probably consist of the same substance as a nerf football.

#2 MILLION DOLLAR LISTING
My real problem with this show is the one guy who has constant helmet hair and talks weird. He is THE most conceited, unattractive, did I mention he talks creepy?, guy I know. He thinks he's the shit, but I have never seen such an ugly mannequin not only come to life, but also sell houses!

And that other guy with the horribly pubic hair resembling beard. What the hell? He looks like a kid that tried to dress up for Halloween as a Hobo by put coffee grounds all over his face.

I don't really have any beef with Madison.

#3 DATE MY EX
First of all, there is nothing endearing or important about Joe. I think she's a self centered, greasy, orange, carpet bagger. She shows no gratitude for anything Slade has ever done for her, even though it's obvious that he is still a complete and unyielding sucker for this dumb bitch, she has an ugly nose and her conversation consists of LC's vocabulary (that mainly being she smiles a lot, acts like she knows what's going on, and then calls her friends behind your back to tell them how much you suck).

I think she is one of the lamest people I have ever encountered on television, and if Slade has any sense he will kick everyone out of his house and go out and find a hotter trophy wife who is actually grateful for all his money. Cause for some reason I'm guessing that she's not paying for that fucking apartment!

And yes, I have a soft spot for Slade because he looks a bit like the guy from Six Feet Under, but that is the only reason why. I SWEAR!

And last but not least

#4 I LOVE MONEY

The Entertainer just makes me want to puke every time I see him. It's like they took the word skeezy and molded it into a man.

The end.
you're hogging all the ugly

[03 Sep 2008|08:27am]
So some guy just walked into Hangers named Mantron.

As in... MAN- TRON!!!

I thought it was funny, because he even pronounced it that way and did NOT smile.

Ever.
you're hogging all the ugly

[29 Aug 2008|09:35am]
This hangover that I am nursing, right now, is so fucking exquisite I cannot begin to elaborate. I don't want to smoke a cigarette, I don't want to drink water! I want to eat mashed potatoes and fried chicken, which means that the level of hangover is in the SEVERE range.

Thank god I only have about 2 more hours to go and then I am home free for 3 days.

I don't have to do a goddamned thing! Except for tomorrow, I have to make potato salad for Josh's party. I suggested this as a joke because I think no southern cookout should go without said salad. Now my drunk mouth has put me in the position where I have to figure out how to do this. Dammit...

I'm glad I have a southern great aunt, cause my mom has such northern taste that tater salad would end up tasting like poon.

Poon is a great word. It has become one of my more favorite words.

I have the worst hangover EVER!

2 more hours, it seems, does not come faster just because you're rambling on your livejournal.
you're hogging all the ugly

[28 Aug 2008|01:49pm]


CONGRATS BIATCH!

thank god Charlie did not win.

i hate that poon.
you're hogging all the ugly

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